🛡️ Inner safety and the question of what to trust?

It’s been a while since I last wrote. Know that I think of this container often and am deeply grateful to again be present here with you.

For the last several weeks, I placed my focus and healing work toward my local spiritual community that had been devastated and shaken to our roots…

By something we thought we’d been so mindful and responsible in preventing...

We discovered that someone many of us trusted had caused harm to, or had actively targeted / begun grooming, over a dozen women, some quite young — all while inspiring silence, confusion, and isolation in those he impacted.

I won’t go into the details here, but I will say this:

When the field of a community is asked to hold something like this… it can be easy to fracture.

Some cast blame… others retreat from connection and deem the whole container unsafe… others still collapse inward to question how their own trust could have been so misplaced — and what does that say about them?

I have watched an entire community split.

And the question at the core of that split, that has destabilized the nervous system of everyone I’ve spoken to — on both sides — is the same:

Am I safe?

In the weeks that followed, I supported those who needed healing, held space for grief and truth, and poured field stabilization and support into our wider community where I could.

I also had to process my own experience as one who had not seen or noticed what was in our midst.

But more than anything, I kept listening — to the pain, to the questions, to the instincts rising from below the surface. And one thing became increasingly clear:

What split our community wasn’t the predator or his actions. It was the question it raised:

How do I hold others responsible for my pain in their container?
How do I ensure my safety when those I trusted to guide me didn’t protect me from this?

It’s the question of Responsibility vs Authority.

And it’s a very difficult question to explore, especially in spiritual or psychedelic communities where we are actively navigating and triggering / working through trauma, personal power, and self-reflection.

I think that the outer split in my community reflects polarizing splits that many have faced internally:

• Self-responsibility vs giving power to an authority one deems responsible for their experience

• Trusting a container vs trusting oneself to choose and act from within that container, regardless

• Holding others accountable vs understanding our own self-accountability to our truth - even when not reflected or responded to by authority

I do not choose sides in the above polarities.

That’s actually where the danger is - and why these inner polarities created an external split in my community.

Polarity becomes weaponized when we feel we can only choose one or that one is better than the other.

Both are true. Often simultaneously.

In such a massively charged and terrifying grey area, what I think it all comes down to is this: Inner Safety.

Each and every one of us deserves to be safe. We deserve containers we can relax in, let go in, process trauma within, and connect to others within.

Yet safety can’t be given. It can’t be outsourced.

We can select containers whose principles, demonstrated structures and guidelines allow for safety and reinforce it.

We can ask our container leadership to uphold those guidelines and principles and to listen to us when we speak our concerns.

We can hold them accountable when they fail.

But safety itself — it must be sourced from within. Otherwise we give our power away. And, ironically, lose safety.

And that can feel ugly or unfair to many of us. So what does that mean?

I’ve come to define inner safety as something like this…

Inner safety is the foundational state where your body, nervous system, and energy field no longer default to externalizing safety as survival - hypervigilance, permission-seeking or deferring to authority and external boundary-setting.

You can choose containers that possess the guardrails, boundaries and leadership that aligns with your inner safety. But inner safety is FIRST.

Externalized safety is always a crap-shoot. Inner safety is inviolable.

Most of us have never experienced this level of safety, because we were born into a world built on fear, performance, and inherited trauma.

Without inner safety, healing, manifestation, and relational intimacy efforts often misfire — because your deeper system is still wired to protect, not create.

When inner safety is present:

• Boundaries arise naturally, without defensiveness or withdrawal, in response to what is present and real, not what is feared or possible.

• You feel your power without flinching, collapsing, or needing to prove it - or conversely, to hide it.

• You stop shrinking or editing yourself for approval. You stop waiting for others to make you safe and act in accordance with your inner safety.

• You hear your body’s true “yes” — and trust it enough to act. You also trust your body’s true “no” and do not defer to any external authority or leadership or coercion to convince you otherwise.

• You don’t outsource responsibility to others to protect you (because there’s no safety or personal power in that if someone else is in control of what reaches you and what doesn’t).

• You ask what is external to reflect your inner safety. But if those external structures ever fail or miss something, your inner safety is still intact and catches what they miss.

So now I offer the next edge: Inner safety sounds nice, but how do we cultivate it? Live it? Heal what prevents it?

These are the questions I’ve been sitting with.
And I’d love to hear what’s alive for you around this (hit reply to this email and share).

Because I don’t have all the answers in a neat box yet.

But I do feel a deeper truth emerging — one that invites a truer self-sovereignty, more direct personal power. A true command of experience that ironically sources not from control, but from more letting go, more opening up, and more freedom.

The fact that such sovereignty can come from more limitlessness and openness excites me!

And I’m beginning to see the path — not just into healing, but into true authorship of new healed reality states.

Without effort, without distortion, without delay.

Inner safety has turned out to be a big part of what initiates that path.

The last several weeks forced us to forge a consistently effective way out of trauma, learned powerlessness and distrust into renewed joy, empowerment and creation.

This new path is not ready to be revealed yet. But it’s naturally unfolded with many in my local community as we’ve navigated all this and the results are proving extraordinary.

I’m also more available now and hope to return to regular communication with you!

More soon.

With deep love and listening,
Amaya

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